Story: How To Forgive Your Father.
Since childhood, I watched my father beating my mother. I never understood why he did that, especially because he was doing that without being drunk. He was always looking for a reason to blame her. He never had an answer to my questions: Why? When I was 14 years old, he lost our apartment at the casino and disappeared. He appeared one year later. My mother returned to him, but I was not able to do that. I am living with my grandmother for five years now, and I just can’t forgive him. He has a job now, and my mother says that he is a lot better, but I just can’t forget those moments.
It is common today, and those kinds of stories can only make us sad. Many people are in this situation. Abusive fathers are unfortunately common, especially in poor families. Are there reasons for children that are treated this way to forgive their fathers?
Is it hard to forgive?
Of course it is, especially if your father didn’t changed, if he has the same abusive behavior, or if he does not care about you. However, every man is the slave of sin, and the children suffer from that. Not talking with him is not the solution.
Many children were able to run away from home, and they thought that they will never come back. If you are in this situation, you probably wonder how he is doing. Time passes, you have your own family, but that question never leaves your mind: How is he doing? Is he changed? Is he OK?
Many children live with those questions in their hearts for ages, until they realize that they have made a mistake. When they meet their fathers after decades, they usually find a poor and lonely guy waiting for the day when he will die. What can you feel then? A feeling of sadness and pity, and maybe some remorse because you haven’t called him in all those years, even if your actions were justified.
Why do you need to forgive?
The majority of religions say that you should forgive, because of many reasons. First, there will be a superior being that judges all that. You have the right to feel mad, but you should not judge. Only God knows why he put your father to all those difficulties, and only Him can judge. You must try to understand, but most importantly, to forgive.
If you are in this situation and you are asking what your father is doing, pick up the phone and call. You might discover a different person, or you might discover that he actually needs you. Are you willing to pay him with the same coin? You can do that, but this will not make you feel better. On the contrary, you will feel a lot worse; knowing that you could have done something, even if your father didn’t deserves your help. Forgiving your father is something that will make you feel better, so you are not doing that for him, you are doing that for him.