If you read enough Twitter (or Gab), you’ll find a narrative of persistent persecution against white men. And just like any good conspiracy theory, the systematic disenfranchisement of white guys makes it to Hollywood. This month, a number of people–some with their own convoluted logic, some just straight-up racist–took umbrage with a fictional galaxy. After the writers of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story pointed out parallels between a female hero fighting an empire and the 2016 presidential campaign, some of the aforementioned aggrieved parties decided to boycott Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, using the hashtag #DumpStarWars. (And some just did it because the protagonist is female. We have tissues and violins at our desk if anyone wants to weep for the poor slighted souls who have seen themselves as the hero of virtually every single movie since the beginning of cinema.)
If people have decided that inclusive casting is something to protest, their Twitter fingers are going to get pretty tired next year. Star Wars: Episode VIII, which also has the nerve to feature non-white-guys, hits theaters in December, but scores of other movies will come before that. And many of those–from the old-guard-lampooning The Circle to Spider-Man: Homecoming’s vision of Queens that could actually be in Queens–are similarly galling if you need popular culture to depict the same world that up until now has given you every structural advantage imaginable. Your loss, trolls.
Kong: Skull Island (March 10)
Reason to Boycott: After director Jordan Vogt-Roberts’ Twitter rant excoriating the white supremacist sitting next to him on a plane, it’s time to turn the tweets back against him. No, you’re the “smug” “fat” “creep”!
Terrible Rallying Cry: #GorillaWarfare
Beauty and the Beast (March 17)
Reason to Boycott: A smart, independent young woman sets out on a quest to save her dad, transforming a vulnerable beast who desperately needs to be loved. Ugh. Emotions, right?
Terrible Rallying Cry: #NotAllBeasts
Ghost in the Shell (March 31)
Reason to Boycott: Re-casting a Japanese character as a basically nude Scarlett Johansson? Great. But hold up–you’re saying the fate of our world relies on a woman’s ability to use technology? We’re doomed!
Terrible Rallying Cry: #GhostsInTheTheater
The Circle (April 28)
Reason to Boycott: The premise of The Circle can be confusing for those with reactionary tastes: An impressionable young girl gets guidance from a trio of old, wise white men. Good, right? Except those old white men turn out to be pompous, insecure fools. Bad! But they’re the despised tech elite of Silicon Valley, so that’s OK, right? Nope, because the man behind that message–Dave Eggers–is the literal WORST: a San Franciscan (read: “radical vegan hybrid driver who also runs the media”) who believes in helping hardworking undocumented students find money for college. No way, Dave.
Terrible Rallying Cry: #CircleJerks
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (May 5)
Reason to Boycott: A white guy on a quest to discover his parentage? Finally, something trolls can get behind! Except this movie, explicitly cast to be “inclusive,” was written by a guy who thinks Trump is a “dumbshit.”
Terrible Rallying Cry: #TheGrootOfTheProblem
Alien: Covenant (May 19)
Reason to Boycott: Sure, this story of a colony ship searching for uncharted paradise and finding a synthetic android may seem like sci-fi fare well-suited for fans of dangerous colonization narratives. But wait! Alien: Covenant follows in the footsteps of Alien, a–gulp–explicitly feminist movie. Ripley, you’re out.
Terrible Rallying Cry: #InSpaceNoOnCanHearYouFail
Wonder Woman (June 2)
Reason to Boycott: Diana Prince’s backstory–Amazonian princess, descendant of Athena, fearless feminist–gives “social justice warrior” a whole new meaning. Add to that some laugh lines in the trailers that make light of WWI-era gender roles, and the DC movie is a nightmare for anyone yearning for an age when “women were women.”
Terrible Rallying Cry: #InvisibleJetMoreLikeInvisibleBoxOffice
Spider-Man: Homecoming (July 7)
Reason to Boycott: Peter Parker, prototypical white nerd who acquires superpowers, gets the girl, and saves the day. But wait, hold on, what’s this? A high school that’s as diverse as his Queens upbringing actually would be, featuring black, Guatemalan, and Filipino actors–and could Zendaya be playing MJ? If you were mad about Hunger Games, you’re going to really hate this!
Terrible Rallying Cry: #TheseWebZingersWillDestroyTheWebSlinger
Star Wars: Episode VIII (December 15)
Reason to Boycott: Brave, resourceful Rey (Daisy Ridley) has already given young girls everywhere a way to see themselves as heroes within the Star Wars universe. Wait a minute, though: intergalactic protagonists aren’t supposed to wear dresses! (Unless, of course, you’re referring to Jedi robes.)
Terrible Rallying Cry: #ItsDarthVaderNotEllaVader