Earlier this week, in the Pennsylvania township of Cumru(!), an unidentified man entered a gas station and held up an employee at knife-point. (Thankfully, no one was hurt.) According to an account in the Reading Eagle, the suspect wore a dark hooded sweatshirt, eventually revealing a tee-shirt “with three smiley faces across the front.” He was further described as “a 6-foot tall or taller white male in his early 20s to early 30s, with sandy to brown shoulder-length wavy hair, a thin build and scruffy facial hair.”
This is how that information was interpreted by a police sketch artist:
So: What do you see when you look at this picture? Do you see a knife-wielding crook? Or do you see…
Jareth, the Goblin King?
Quiet Riot guitarist Carlos Cavazo, circa 1983?
Shingy, AOL’s “Digital Didgeridoo” or whatever he’s called?
No? How about Mel Gibson from his Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome days?
Hmm. Maybe police should be on the lookout for Ron Perlman in his Beauty and the Beast get-up?
Nope? Man, who could it possibly–oh, wait! We got it! It’s Meat Loaf from his Wayne’s World cameo!
Regardless of who this actually turns out to be, one thing is clear: Cumru Township PD’s sketch artist has gone above and beyond the call of duty. Here’s to you, sketch artist!